I wrote this article earlier this year during the father’s Day celebrations to sensitize the fathers who have neglected their responsibilities .
I believe though that some of our fathers deserve commendation since they have proved beyond all doubts to be good spiritual leaders in their families . I however think there is the need to sound a wake up call to the slumbering fathers for them to have cognizance of the harm they may be doing to their children by neglecting them.
This is a must read for all fathers -including potential ones .
This is the AGONY of an unfathered man!
Our development as men is shaped by the things we encounter as children, our masculinity is defined by our fathers and our relationships .Dysfunctions in our adulthood were also shaped or influenced by the presence or absence of the men who fathered us.
T.D Jakes .
Masculinity is rooted in childhood;there is a child in every man . The things we experience in our childhood is what makes up our thoughts .
Most of the perception men have today came from the experiences they had had in their childhood .
The reason why some men act the way they do is because they were deprived of a proper relationship with a father early on in their lives . Men are what they are today because of the presence or absence of a father .
The absence of a father in our lives generates a permanent questions in our minds as children ; “Why don’t i have a father? “. ” where is daddy? ”
The absence of a father have metamophorsed men into beasts ; displaying callous and insensitive behaviours characterized with anger and acrimony from the wounds they had in their childhood.
Men are now seen as atrocious creatures who are ready to devour people when they are angry, to show how strong they are.
We now perceive that ,the only way a man can express himself and be heard is to show anger.The anger we have kept in our hearts for our fathers . This anger, is what we enter our marriages with .Thinking we are being men .Abusing innocent women ,then we turn to call them our wives .
This same anger is what we bring to the societies .Getting involved in every societal menace so that we can atleast satisfy the anger. We hide behind our “macho”, bragging about having six packs and huge biceps to denote how strong we are when in actual fact were weakened by the bitterness of our fathers absence .
why are we men always angry ?
This is a question that needs to be answered and must not be given a back burner .
I believe it is because nobody listened to us when we were boys .Our inability to communicate our ” emotions ” as children has caused us to resort to anger .
Am tired of seeing angry men .I look through the society ,the homes ,work place and i see angry men .Angry men ,armed to the teeth ,with ammunitions ready to war ,because nobody listens .
Angry men are even everywhere in the church and ministry . I am tired if seeing angry men .Am tired of seeing men get angry at the wrong people .
The devil works behind the scenes .He is the one men ought to be angry at .
Real men are those who know who their actual enemy is and fight him on their knees . We need real men in our lives.we need men who are mentors.
I speak for those who did not have the presence of a father in their lives. Real men are those who are able to successfuly pass on the baton to the next generation.
Real men are those who bring up a child but not those who help make one.
Most of us did not have the previledge to exprience the presence of men to father us. We were abodoned by them. This act though somehow fogotten has left an unhealable wound in the hearts of many boys.
Why do we think the only way a man can express his feeling is through anger? Why do we say a man who cries is weak?
Men are not able to truly express their feelings and this is affecting many even in their marriages. Because we did not have a proper relationship with our fathers ,many men find it extremly difficult to relate with God, our heavenly father.They do not see the need to depend on God.
Do we not see that God gave us earthly fathers for a reason? If i cannot relate with my father properly, how then can i speak to God who is my heavenly father ,how can i tell him my problems. We have been left to fend for ourselves at a younger age and this has made many men we have today self -dependant .They do not see the need to depend on a God for their needs . What are the men teaching their children(boys). Are we not raising beasts rather than men? I pray that our fathers will remember their responsibilties and do them!